Shaming

I would love an explanation for why Black men degrade, and abuse their counterparts. I am aware that other ethnicities have issues, but that is not my purpose here. I also know that there are Black men who are Kings and are paving the way for other Black men to follow. My point here is to a specific market of Black men.What bothers me is how those Black men are so quick to call their women whores or thots. Why? Why are our brothers, uncles, cousins, fathers, boyfriends, husbands, so comfortable with being disrespectful to us?

Example A.

Why are these women deemed, just based on these costumes, to be thots? Because their legs are out? Because of their cleavage? Why are these signs for men to become ignorant, to talk down to us because we decide to wear what we want? Why is a woman’s chastity, or lack there of something men even feel comfortable publicly shaming? Honestly, I have endless amounts of questions. ENDLESS, because for the life of me, I cannot understand why people feel like it is okay to shame anyone, especially when they don’t know the person.

Culturally, we have decided that memes, usually with the faces of strangers, are appropriate ways to label and spread generalizations. They, and vines, are prime variables in this humor movement. When someone has an embarrassing moment, vine it, meme it, worldstar it. Who cares how the person feels about their face being nationally known and recognized for free. Who cares that the person will lose privacy, peace of mind, and confidence; again for free. Let’s not play the “I wouldn’t” game because we have. Whether you shame someone for liking to party, to club, to stay at home, to have sex, to be a virgin it doesn’t matter it’s all shaming.

For reasons I can’t understand we love to make people feel bad for doing things, wearing things that we don’t agree with. I know for a fact it’s something I didn’t even notice that I was doing. “Why is she wearing that, she looks crazy”, “doesn’t she know that makes her look …” proceed with judgmental nonsense. It’s a struggle for me, but when I notice it, I fix it because even if I don’t say it, my thoughts matter. Just because you don’t say rude things, doesn’t mean you’re not being rude. People are so set on what is said versus what isn’t, but your thoughts and your heart are what’s important. For me, people are so judgmental because of fear, jealousy, or society telling us what is and isn’t acceptable. But we’re adults now, we choose. And we need to stop shaming people for what they choose to be when it doesn’t harm anyone. Black men, you want society to respect Black women? Your mothers, sisters, cousins, daughters, your wives? Maybe you should. Have our backs, guide us, stop with the excuses and be MEN. Your Queen will follow a strong lead, and maybe other men will learn to treat their woman better through watching you.

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