Atlanta has been on my mind for a while, I’m not quite ready to move yet, but in the next year or two I’m uprooting. I’m nervous though. All my life I’ve lived with someone, family or friends. Although some of those experiences were complete garbage, some were amazing. I wouldn’t mind living alone, but living alone somewhere new is a bucket load of anxiety. New city, New state? But, again, God is working in my favor. My brother is moving to Atlanta, so even if I live alone, I have attachments to my Maryland life. Even if he doesn’t, my Godmother lives relatively close to Atlanta, so I’ll still have family there to support me.
I can be a loner, but in my heart I’m a person of passion; just not with all people. Intimacy is a driving force for me. It’s what has led me to each and every one of my passions. And most of my relationships. When I took the time to get to know myself, and reflect on some things, I realized I am run by intimacy, or at least my want of it. It resides in every aspect of my life, especially my relationships. Knowing this about myself now helps me understand why I respond and react to most things the way I do. It’s one of the reasons why I’ve spent time deciding where to live. Because on those days or those times when touch is pivotal and absolutely necessary for my survival, I’ll be able to obtain it .
Other than that, I’ve never been in the city except for once to visit, what I call, an adopted cousin. I’m pretty sure that I won’t be anywhere near the heart of it though. I find that I don’t like driving in cities. People are lunatics! This weekend I spent some time in New York, and I thought we were going to get into an accident every five minutes. Thought I was gonna have a daggone panic attack riding with this dude. Traffic, traffic makes me nervous. Wide, multi lane crossings make me nervous. Lol maybe it was just his driving lol. Right outside the city or the suburbs seem like just the right spots for me.
Regardless, I’m excited. For the first time in my life, I have begun the road of financial stability. But it’s just the beginning, and it’s exciting for me. For the third week, maybe even the fourth, maybe even the fifth, I’ll have money left from each check, had savings, my bills are paid, I brought all my Christmas presents for friends and family, had an emergency and didn’t have to touch my savings, and I can eat every single day without worrying about my bank account! All of my college and young adults understand exactly where I’m coming from on this one. You guys know how hard it is.
Anyway, I figured with the progress I’ve made, and my determination, in the next year too, I will be living in a different state and I will be moving forward with my life in a very different way. Or maybe just moving forward period.