People like to make it sound like certain things people do, don’t make sense. One of those things is how men and women respond to the lack of attention. For example, men try to make women feel like trash when they move on from a poor relationship. Men go through this as well. Women have a horrible habit of not giving their man enough attention. To be clear, these things do not pertain to everyone, just the specific group in this conversation.
Now, why do people shame others for needing attention in their relationships? It’s no different than being married. No different than a friendship. If you’re not putting wood on the fire, which is supposed to feul your relationship, it will smolder and die. If you neglect your partner think of them like crops, a grapevine. Your attention is the rain and the shade. Without it, the vine withers, becomes sunken, and misshapen because it wasn’t taken care of.
As young adults, and even grown adults, we sometimes forget that romance, that caring for someone, is a skill. It is something you have to flex, and use to become good at, and become comfortable with. We’ve all seen how someone can glow and grow with the proper care, so it should make sense that without that care and they will do poorly.
I imagine that I shouldn’t be surprised about the responses I’ve received or heard others have received for leaving someone who neglects us of what we need. Are we to stay? To be sucked dry, while gaining no nourishment in return… If not, why continue to shame people for leaving those situations, where is the sense in that?