Woke up in the middle of the night, or what I think was waking up from a solid 10 mins of closed eyelids, to a text from my sister. I tend to keep my phone on do not disturb or silent after a certain time in order to get a full nights rest, but I forgot to tonight, and I’m glad I did.
She sent this video and it irritated me. Not because it’s bad, but because I felt like I was looking at myself and it made me uncomfortable. I’m struggling through depression and one of the hardest things at times is admitting to not being okay, to say yes I’m stressed, to speak on the things that cause me pain on a daily basis. I’m still irritated now writing this because I don’t know how to make this uncomfortable feeling go away.
I’ve yet to post anything on here with a video, so I figure this is a good one to start with. I’d like to say I probably should’ve waited until morning but in the cage my life has turned into lately, there is no right time for me to look myself in the mirror and deal, so I write this in an attempt to ease this foot sized gap that weighs the size of a small child currently gripping what I suppose is my heart.
If you’re going through something, and like many feel alone, feel like you can’t talk about it, are afraid to talk about it. Just take a few minutes to watch and reach out.