Inner Queen

My Inner Queen has spent years in

recovery. Seems like she’s always

recovering. This isn’t her fault, but

mine. I keep sacrificing her for

an unworthy King. Maybe not

even a King but a boy born ready

to be.

What is her worth or

value, do I even know and

if I did why do I consistently

betray her, sell her for

less than, when she was

never meant to be sold.


In her youth she found

the makings of who she

wanted to truly be, yet in

each glance, in each trial

she ran. Ran until she found

the makings of who she

is and carved of stone began

to just be.

She gave me the reigns and said

“make sure you lead us

well”. I failed. Constantly

gave those reigns to the one I

felt we needed. She reared, yelled,

screamed for me to stop

being weak.

All of her efforts, the reservoir

filled to its brim, personified

emotions, tortured thoughts in

steady rotation, gaining speed.

Banging against the walls begging,

demanding to be free. In the moments

that I weakened her, this is what

she was to me.


I took the reigns back from

all who held them. Now they are

secreted with poison created

from the tears we have cried, I

give no man hold. It is a worthy

King that will arrive and share those

reigns with me. I no longer

seek him, in due time his

back will ache, his heart will

tear, his mind will be so full that

he will unintentionally stumble to me.

He himself looking for relief.

I am his foundation of truth of

honesty, the brace for his back, my

shoulders ready to bear half his

yoke, for he is my half and what

is born to him, is carried by me. My

needle threaded with care and

understanding will mend what was torn

by another, I massage his temples

while pulling the poison from his mind.

His knees will gain strength, for their

foundation is sturdy and ready. There is

nothing too heavy for a Worthy

King and Awakened Queen. I relish in

her sigh of relief.

“Finally you see

the Queen you were always

meant to be”


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