Discombobulated

It could all be so simple.

Been conflicted, heart in turmoil. Tricky situations, misplaced trust, heart palpitations, and lingering thoughts.

Feels like the one person I would run to, I can’t. A part of the problem, and my feelings aren’t safe. So much I want to tell you, so much I want to say, yet all these things are locked in my safe.

These things they grow, one becoming the sun. The other neglected and pained, I refuse to end up that one. Always bright is the shining star. But what is brightness when the one you shine for doesn’t see. When it feels like the rotation dims your glean.

So much to say, yet too afraid. Suppose that’s a sign, it should never be that way. I am a lover first. A fighter second. But I fight for my sanity, not your vanity and ego exaltation. I know the tide changes, but too high or too low can be dangerous. 

An overworked imagination, located in the mist of honey. But I remember green eyes for an emotionless situation. But I sit, and I laugh, and I try to be calm. When the animal in me wants to shriek and say back off.

Found parts of me with you. All these cute moments tallied up. But right now it all feels jumbled, messy, and jacked up. I don’t care to share, yet it feels my voice is silenced there. Not wanting to rock the boat, I sit in the midst of the ocean just trying not to drown, trying to show no fear.

I could speak up. It would make sense. But who talks to the wall, or the horse that won’t drink?

https://open.spotify.com/track/2WfVPi5dSGui2B9kOyqAJc

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