Most people who know me, or have kept up with this blog know that I have issues with pain and my nerves. The problem with this issue is that because I don’t “look” sick, people often forget or choose to ignore that I’m easily hurt. Beyond that, when they do hurt me, and then I get pissed off because I’m in unnecessary pain, they don’t understand that I don’t feel like having them in my space. What I’ve been learning is to just distance myself and stop feeling like I owe people explanations. Whether it is for physical pain, or emotional pain; idc anymore. I have been giving myself time to heal pains, and not allow people to add more onto my shoulders than necessary.
There are only certain things that you NEED to tolerate or deal with. Beyond those things, I refuse to keep asking for more, asking for better, or begging someone to be better towards me. Now, I’m done. Now I’m enjoying my life, and making sure that my mental state is where it needs to be. The beauty of this is, once I move, I have my own space, a place to zen out, to write, to be at peace, to have quiet, and to just be myself and not have to communicate with anyone. That’s what I’m most looking forward too…time and quiet.