I’d say it’s the late nights. When I miss you the most. But it’s all day, I keep a piece of your scent at the back of my throat. When the pain hits. I heave until I feel my sternum fracturing. Trying to dislodge it, the smell, so I can breathe without you again.

I Been

Thinkin bout you, and the way your body fit perfectly in front of and behind mine. How I could tilt my head just right and smell your scent and still breathe fresh air. I think about the laughs we shared far more than tears cried. I think about the love we gave and received all of the time.

I wonder what it really was, that made it end that way. The back and forth of trying again, to never feeling stable with my best friend. I wonder if you think about me, or any of the things I do. I wonder if it haunts you at night, the way it haunts my every move.

I question if you loved me, or was I a placeholder for you. I question if you ran because life was moving too fast, and it felt too intense to wade through. I question if you questioned, your capabilities to be my man. I questioned if you’d thought of us ever trying again.

I miss you like you’re sub 2 the hydrogen in my cells. Cause without water, I’m shriveled, a dried up shell. I miss you like circulation in a electric shocked foot. I miss you like the elephant, looking for his roots.

Try Again

Being in love while single is on the list of hard things you never want to overcome. At least it was for me. Still is honestly, except I’m living it so I don’t have a choice but keep going. The last three months have been filled with pain, disappointment, growth, and expansion. More than the whole year.

My heart still sings the same song though. It took two months for me to stop my mind from following the tune, but my siren is still blaring. Hoping her voice reaches her missing piece. It was one thing when it was months apart. When it was about growing as individuals. Now. It’s different.

I don’t know what’s possible. If anything is. But if I could throw my coins, all of them, into a wishing well, it would be for one more try when we’re actually ready to live that love.